As Holly Willoughby sparks anger by saying it’s ‘the best experience ever’… Is it insensitive to say you enjoy giving birth?

By Helena Frith Powell 

Sitting in a fibreglass tub at a birthing centre in Crowborough, East Sussex, 22 years ago, many things went through my mind as I worked to welcome my first child into the world.

‘When is this going to stop?’ being the most predominant, followed closely by ‘Why the hell did I opt for a natural childbirth?’

I didn’t speak much during the ordeal, except to announce to my birthing partner (a doctor friend whom I decided early on in my pregnancy would be more useful than my husband) that ‘this really, really hurts,’ and once when I demanded of some poor innocent gardener outside the window ‘who the **** mows the lawn at a time like this?’

Adjectives that best describe the day include agonising, excruciating, even unbearable. But at no point did the word ‘magical’ pop into my mind. There was not a single moment, even when it was finally over, that I would describe as anywhere close to approaching my ‘best experience ever’.

I’m thrilled Holly Willoughby has such positive memories of her three births, and perhaps there are many women out there just like her. But for the ones who are pregnant and have been gently contemplating (as I did) that the arrival of this baby is likely to hurt, don’t feel there is anything wrong if you’re not enjoying the prospect as much as Holly. I would argue that she is in a blessed minority, with a pain threshold to rival Iron Man’s.Holly must have Iron Man’s pain threshold 

And I’m not sure how helpful it is to hold up childbirth as a close-to-sublime experience, as it will inevitably lead to women feeling either cheated or like failures if they feel the way I did. Which, I predict, is most of us. I can count on no fingers at all the number of girlfriends who called me after giving birth, chirruping about how jolly marvellous it was.

The second time round, I opted for a caesarean. And the third time, with no excuse for a caesarean, I went for as many drugs as were legal. Although better than the first experience, I can’t honestly say I relished either of them. And this in spite of an obstetrician who gave Grey’s Anatomy’s McDreamy a run for his money.

As to the popular myth that you forget the pain of childbirth, well up to a point you do… until you go into labour again. The night before my caesarean, my contractions began. They were the first ones, spaced out and barely noticeable. But I remembered the agonising pain that followed them straightaway. And all I could think was: ‘Thank God I’m not going through that again.’