As Dominic West wins back his wife after those Lily James pictures: Should you stay with a husband who strays?

If I were his wife, would I ever trust Dominic West again?

Here I am, at home with our four children, when pictures are beamed across the globe of him gazing adoringly at a clearly besotted Lily James, as well as kissing her, stroking her cheek and snuggling up to her on a scooter (and actually what is a fifty-year-old man doing on a scooter anyway?)

In spite of all this, Catherine FitzGerald has decided that she can trust him again. After a few consoling weeks in Lamu, she has agreed to take him back, on the proviso that he never has contact with Lily again.

I think she’s has done the right thing.

Many women will disagree. They will see it as somehow anti-feminist and weak, even foolish. They will argue that once a man has strayed, he will do so again. And again. In my opinion it would be more foolish to give up on a relationship that began when they were university students and a life together with four (still relatively small) children for what one of my friends describes as a ‘bit of side-salad’.

Infidelity is often the result of circumstance more than personality. Of course, there are some serial adulterers, and maybe they would be tricky to forgive on a weekly basis. But it’s ridiculous to condemn someone to a life sentence of not trusting them because they stray once.

How many men, having shared a few bottles of wine with a pretty girl at lunch, would be tempted to stroke her cheek much like Dominic West did? What about a business trip where you accidentally end up in bed with someone you’re never likely to see again? Do these, or countless other possible circumstances that could lead to infidelity, make a man (or a woman) untrustworthy? I don’t think so. What if you’d refused to ever trust your partner again on the basis of something that actually meant nothing at all? Thus depriving you both of a truly meaningful relationship and a happy life together.

A man who strays might actually be doing so in search of a soulmate. I have a friend who is married to a man she had a fling with while he was still in an unhappy relationship with his now ex-wife. As far as I know, he has been faithful for twenty years and counting.

There is a lot more to a successful marriage and a relationship than trusting that your loved one might never want to have sex outside a relationship. So what if they do? Personally, I would be more upset if my husband announced he would rather spend time with and talk to another woman than have a quick fling in Rome.

Although I would obviously prefer it if she weren’t a 32-year-old film star.