“Keep it light-hearted,” the producer tells me. “We’ve got a big feature on breast cancer so this item needs to be funny.”
The subject of my discussion on Woman’s Hour today is a new book written by a Dutch woman called Dutch women don’t get depressed. By the end of it, I am. I try a whole host of jokes, like Dutch men being so jolly despite bossy, scruffy women due to high drug intake and French women refusing to wear clogs (rarely in fashion). They all fall on deaf (Dutch) ears. Not even a snigger. The woman has no sense of humour whatsoever.
To make matters worse I get back home to a seriously POISONOUS comment on my blog about my performance. I am apparently snide, xenophobic and smug. And that’s on a good day. “I suppose, however, its all that can be expected from a woman who writes books with such ridiculous titles like ‘Two Lipsticks and a Lover’,” writes the rather bitter Abigail. (Rather smugly I notice she can’t spell it’s).
But I am safe. As I lie down for an afternoon sleep with my ill daughter (I am also ill having been out until 2am which only happens about once a decade, why did it have to happen last night?) she comforts me. “Don’t worry about that silly woman mummy,” she says. “Just go to sleep and pretend like it didn’t happen. I’ll look after you And I’ve got Max and Wolfie on my team.” Abigail beware.
PS By popular demand, here is the ghastly comment, posted on the About Helena section and also emailed to me just in case I missed it:
Abigail Jones
I just listened to a program on Radio 4 Women’s Hour on which you made an appearance – a discussion of Ellen de Bruin’s book ‘Dutch Women Don’t Get Depresssed’ and its sentiment. It is, of course (as de Bruin readily admitted) another example of a ready habit that many people have to stereotype nationalities in a wildly uninformed manner. I can’t say I’m very interested in buying the book or discussing such silly stereotypes, but de Bruin seemed like a pleasant enough woman.
Despite the fact that we were listening a discussion on de Bruin’s book, however, it was your drawling sarcastic comments and performance that really stood out. And not, I assure you, in a positive way. You seem to have an unpleasant obsesion with perpetrating such mindless, crude stereotypes, and some of your responses verged on xenophobic. The one about how Dutch people were happy because they smoked drugs? Embarassing. As for your claim about how women are happier when they believe they look better? I can only judge from the ridiculously smug picture you posted of yourself on this page that you at least are wholly believing that you look ‘good’? Your snappy tone and silly jibes on Woman’s Hour, however, was not the behaviour of a happy woman.
I suppose, however, its all that can be expected from a woman who writes books with such ridiculous titles like ‘Two Lipsticks and a Lover’
Copyright: Helena Frith Powell 2007
I don’t understand – where’s the comment from Abigail?
Hi Louise, I have added it now.
Hx
Can’t believe I missed it! Luckily I can still listen to it and see if the Dutch author really had a humour-bypass.
As another bi-lingual person you will know however that humour doesn’t translate very well and I can only imagine how nerve-wrecking it must be to be on BBC radio in a language not your own.
Then again, she’s Dutch. She probably doesn’t give a ****
Surely it wasn’t exactly your finest hour. By the end of the program, the host read an unfavourable comment they received via the WH message board. The situation called for wit rather than jokes. Perhaps the Dutch woman didn’t get the same brief?
Nasty comments from people who make basic grammatical errors should be immediately discarded and forgotten.
Wow, I’m glad I don’t have a blog with my picture on! Don’t listen to Abigail. She sounds like a proper “rodstrumpa ” with clogs and pigtail=very attractive(not). Go Helena!
Helena, this comment is so deliberately nasty that one has to wonder what Abigail’s motivation is. The fact that she sent it to you just in case you didn’t see it makes me very suspicious of her intentions. Sounds like she’s either wound tightly or is jealous. Maybe her mean spirit penetrates all parts of her life that no one likes being with her and so she takes out her hostility on people who seem to have it together like you. Her “writing” reflects her personality. She didn’t try to say anything constructive. She didn’t criticize the topic etc. Instead it was a frontal ad hominum attack. I hope you don’t take this too seriously. Look at the source. She’s got to be pretty miserable.
It’s one thing to say what you mean; another to say it mean.
If I were you, I would look around you and all that you have and smile in the face of such spite.
Jacqueline
If Abigail thinks Two lipsticks and a lover is a ridiculous title, what will she say about the current bestseller “the Blair years”? Why did this Mr Campbell give a politician’s name to a book of soup recipes. Now THAT’s ridiculous!
If she doesn’t like your title, perhaps she might prefer my far more glamorous version in French “Deux rouges ? lèvres et un amant”. Ignore her.
Ridiculous Jacques
OOhher, I had to laugh (probably because it wasn’t aimed at me) but I had an image of a bitter, twisted witch, sucking a lemon sitting on the wrong end of her broomstick. I’m glad these people exist because it makes me feel so wholesome and apple-pieish.
I will now go back to sticking pins in various dolls knowing that at least I don’t vent my spleen in public.
Whilst you have supper tonight, surrounded by adoring husband, loving children, good food and a splash of chablis, raise a glass to old Abigail as she stirs her cauldron in lonely isolation!
Helena,
Unfortunately, there will always be people who criticise, make rude and nasty comments and don’t share your sense of humour. Your Bea is very wise – rise above it all and pretend it didn’t happen…
And I really like the titles of your books if that makes you feel better!
I was so intrigued by the blog and the comments that I logged on to listen to the interview. Even the wonderful Jenni Murray didn’t seem to appreciate that you were being ironic. It shows just how French you have become that even your sense of humour is now too sophisticated for the Abigail’s of this world.
You were remarkably gracious over the fact that they got your book title wrong – at least it’s an original title and you didn’t just rip off someone else’s. Next time I’m bored I shall play a new game of filling in the blanks: “…….. Women don’t get …….”
Margaret
Nice comments in support of Helena, but just to point out that we don’t drink Chablis here, but Arrogant Frog, a local Languedoc wine made by our good friend Jean-Claude Mas. It comes in red, white & pink and has a screwtop so there’s no struggling with corks.
I too listened to the radio programme, but am none the wiser as to why Dutch Women Don’t Get Depressed. Just listening to that dutch bint droning on and on was enough to send me to the nearest hoover, whatever that is.
How bitter. Perhaps Abigail should post a picture of herself. Notice she’s gone rather quiet now!
Good god. Someone needs some lipstick and a lover. And a bit more dietary fiber. 😉
hi Helena
Just remember it takes a lot of hard work and courage and determination to achieve anything (eg writing books, looking after children) but to ctiticise anyone all you need it a mouth!
I have to say I agree with Abigail’s comments and don’t think they can be bettered (apart from the minor grammatical error).
A grammatical error AND at least two spelling mistakes don’t recommend Abigail’s opinions to me, suggesting an uneducated and uninformed person wrote them. I feel sorry for her; it sounds as if she is not having much fun in life – maybe she supported the other side in the Rugby World Cup.
I blame it on the BBC – did anyone understand the argument going on here? What an embarrassing muddle. The researcher hadn’t done her homework. Ellen de….hadn’t a clog (and yes they jolly well do wear them along with their tracky bottoms which are aching under all that assertiveness). H you were very good, a calm voice amongst a lot of embarrassing confusion for the BBC and Ellen de Buin.
Pity Rupert only gives you cheap plonk to drink – we here in Switzerland favour local wines sold in handy juice style cartons. There’s no confusion over colour as they all taste the same with a lovely wiff of plastic.
To borrow Marco Pierre White’s phrase “you can dress a pig in a suit, but you can’t stop it grunting” seems to fit Abigail. Mean old bint.
I love your writing and your blogs. I’m looking forward to your next book out. You and your daughters are beautiful, take no notice of the Sauerkraut.
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