The week after Britney Spears ended up with no hair, I ended up with twice as much. At Rodolfo Valentin’s salon in New York I have been treated to his famous “hair infusions.” They are an advanced form of hair extensions that don’t damage your hair but still make you look like a Desperate Housewife (which of course is my main aim in life). As you walk into the salon there is a big poster which reads: Come in with the hair you’ve got, leave with the hair you want.”

I had had a particularly dreadful haircut (at Harvey Nichols can you believe it?) and every time I looked in the mirror my hair made me alternately depressed, at how limp it looked, and furious at how much money it cost. Anyway Rodolfo sorted me out. I wafted out of his salon feeling like a million dollars. Even my husband (who normally hates all this sort of thing) concedes I am now more fun to be with and look better.

As I write I am tucked up in bed having had the treatment I warned you about below. This is called smart-lipo and is a much less violent form of liposuction which not only removes fat deposits but tightens the skin.

At the moment I look (and feel) like a mad-woman. I am wearing a strange black corset and my stomach (the area my new best friend Dr. LookGood treated) is swollen and slightly sore. The two pin-prick areas he used to get to my fat are turning a rather nasty shade of blue. But otherwise I feel amazingly good.

This might sound insane to you but in the interests of the book I felt I had to try it. And of course it helps that Dr. LookGood has promised me my stomach will be flat for the rest of my life. This is extremely good news for someone who has suffered from a pot belly since the age of nine and whose body has been ravaged by three children and industrial quantities of pasta.

“It’s like doing five million sit-ups,” Dr LookGood told me as I lay on his treatment bed and he manipulated a laser around my fat deposits. I will be uncomfortable for a couple of days but not nearly as uncomfortable as I would be doing five million sit-ups.
Anyway, I leave you with a brilliant quote from Bill Maher in the Los Angeles Times: “When you look at Britney [Spears], head shaved, half-naked, drunk, crying, puking, walking into walls, crazy as a loon, remember: This is the woman, back in 2003, who said, “I think we should just trust our president in every decision he makes.”

And I think Tony Blair is a jolly good bloke…..

Copyright: Helena Frith Powell 2007