So it seems the Queen and I were in America at the same time. I wonder how different our visits have been. While I was recovering from a day of exhausting makeover treatments in my hotel room (actually I spent most of the evening trying to find a light-switch, why do they have to make things so complicated?) she was dining with the world’s most stupid person, sorry, president and a list of esteemed guests that included people like A. Jerrold Perenchio, chief executive, Chartwell Partners (who?) and other riveting A-list names like Joseph J O’Donnell, chief executive, Boston Culinary Group along with Clay Johnson III from the Office of Management and Budget. “Eat your oysters, Your Majesty,” he was probably telling her. “They were very expensive.” And just when you thought things couldn’t get any worse, Margaret Becket shows up.

The only person on this list of “dignitaries” I can imagine she would have been remotely excited about meeting at the state dinner was a certain Calvin Borel who won the 2007 Kentucky Derby. At least she would have known who he was, unlike me, when I sat next to champion jockey Richard Dunwoody and asked him if he’d ever ridden in the Grand National.

“I’ve won it three times,” he said.

Anyway, my point is this. You’d think with being Queen you might be allowed to invite whoever you want to dinner. There were no names on that list that I would have asked for. And several were glaringly absent. What fun is a dinner at the White House without Brad Pitt, for example, or Dr McDreamy, or George Clooney? About as much fun as a trip in Upper Class without a Colin Frith look-alike. Talking of which, I am writing this from Premium Economy. Of course had I been upgraded I would have been asleep by now…….

But the upside is that I am sitting next to a nice young man who was stood up by his girlfriend the night before they were meant to fly out to New York where he was planning to propose to her and take her to Tiffany’s to buy an engagement ring for thousands of dollars.

He had the whole thing arranged; a suite at the Waldorf Astoria, limo from the airport, romantic dinners, unlimited shopping budget. But she chucked him on the phone the night before they were due to leave after five years of being together. Being a sweetheart he took his niece instead.

If any of you are interested in a New York proposal, let me know and I’ll pass on your details to him.

Copyright: Helena Frith Powell 2007