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Parental Truths number three
Never mind the vinaigrette, last night I felt totally overcome with an overwhelming and heavy sense of responsibility. I looked around the table at my three children. They were all happily eating, arguing over who should have laid out the napkins and whether Jesus had created my hair (actually he didn’t, Rodolfo Valentin did).
Suddenly I thought; “Help, their whole happiness, health and lives are in my hands.”
I think in part I am feeling like this because next week I go away. I have one more luxury spa to visit in the Caribbean (it’s such a tough assignment) and am going to spend the week being pampered and also finishing the book which I said I would get to my agent by the end of April.
Most sane people would be busy packing their bikinis, waxing their legs and shouting ‘yippee’ at the thought of a week in the Caribbean. Not me. As I walked into my son’s room this morning and smelled his yummy, gorgeous smell my only thought was “I can’t live without this for a week”.
But of course I can, and I will, and the children will be fine with ‘Mami’ Chantal and ‘Papi’ Gilbert who spoil them and adore them and do all the things with them I will never do like go to McDonalds, drink Coca-Cola and watch Spiderman in French.
I know from past experience that once I get on that plane and start thinking about the book my angst diminishes, but that doesn’t make it any easier to cope with now.
My husband meanwhile is in Delhi, hanging out with my best friend. He helpfully emailed me this morning to tell me she “has not one wrinkle and looks great”. So is the answer to staying young living in India, surrounded by younger men (she works on an Indian version of a FHM-style Mag) and not having three children? If so, it’s too late for me.
I’ll just have to accept my wrinkles and go and smell my son’s pyjamas.
Copyright: Helena Frith Powell 2007
18 Apr 2007 helena
Oh I know exactly what you are talking about…I will be travelling to Beijing and I am dreading leaving the 2 single most important people in my life; my children.
Good luck and enjoy!! Your kids will be in safe hands, coca cola and all!!
Not enough is written exploring the separation of mothers and children, either during childhood or when they have left the family home.
I suffered horribly when my daughter went to boarding school - and that was only part-time!
I suffer now when she merely returns to day school from a few weeks holiday.
But separate we must - it is the natural way of things - for the children and mothers too.
Have a wonderful working break!
My children’s father lives in a different country so they go back and forward every holiday and half the summer one. The very first time I felt my heart was ripped out and, like you, I buried my head in their pillows to pick up their smell.
Fast forward some years. They are both 8, travel on their own as ‘unaccompanied minors’ (bad Mummy, badbadbad Mummy!!) and I LOVE IT!
Guilt-free me time. Children adore it, ex-husband and his family love it and new husband and I wouldn’t want to be without it. Yes of course, I miss the fun bit of parenting, the wonderful weird conversations you can have with 8-year olds, the smell of my daughter’s hair, the way my son plays with my hands if he is near me. But the freedom, the not having to think about them, the ‘me’ time as supposed to the ‘Mummy’ time.
Enjoy it as I’m sure you will do to a certain extent.
Hmmmm the smell of children especially the smell of sleeping children. The musky male aroma of my 5 year old in his bed.
Love Johnson’s baby lotion, baby wipes, talc, bubbble bath too.