So this is it. It has finally happened to me.
They say when you move to the UAE you gain what is affectionately known as the ‘Dubai stone’. I won’t be doing that, I thought smugly, sipping my grande latte (full-fat milk, natch). Oh dear. And double dear. Now I have.
I only noticed it yesterday. We were at the beach. I went to the loo and caught sight of myself in the mirror. “Hmmmm,’ I thought. ‘I look rather large, must be the cut of the bikini or the light or maybe there is something wrong with the mirror.’
Then we got home and it was time to get dressed to go out to a party. I put on an outfit and looked in the mirror. Horror of horrors. Instead of a palm tree, there was a socking great oak. Broad in the beam is putting it mildly.
Rupert confirmed my worst fears. “You look rather….chunky,” he said. He wouldn’t dare use the ‘f’ word. Oh HELP – how can this have happened?
It gets worse. We went to the party and I chatted to a lovely French woman about how I had to lose some weight. Normally I say this in half-jest just so I can hear those comforting ‘oh don’t be ridiculous, you’re so thin’ kind of remarks. What did I get from the super-slim French lady? A stony silence. And she’s RIGHT, I am now overweight. At least I am not thin by French standards. Or my own.
The irony is I am writing a diet book. Ha! They won’t be using me in the publicity shots. Unless I follow my own advice that is. Or maybe I should just go the Oprah route; surrender and buy bigger clothes?
NEVER!
Copyright: Helena Frith Powell 2008
Oh dear, no…anything but the Oprah route!
By the way, you look as stunning as ever…the 2 and a half ounces that you gained are easy to shed, just cut down the portions a little bit and voila! See, the French route is always the best!
Hells – I have seen you very very recently and there is NO WAY ON EARTH you can be called chunky or fat!!! Rupert needs his eyes testing. If you are fat what hope is there for the rest of us???
Well the only way to settle this is a bikini photo. Dare you.
Hmmm – maybe after the diet.
Hx
We have the same problem here with the “Bahrain bulge”. Personally I don’t think it’s the full fat lattes – let’s face it, un grand cafe au lait et un croissant is pretty calorie-laden too. No, I think the problem is an excess of other sorts – an excessively sedentary lifestyle. No more hoovering and ironing (got a maid to do that), no more car washing (got a little man to do that), no more gardening (not much need in the desert) and we don’t walk anywhere (well, in fairness for 4 months of the year it’s too damn hot to move, let alone walk). I’ll bet the first thing you do when you get back to France is go for a good long walk – I would!
That wasn’t you in the bikini in the photo?
WOW! Are you sure it’s only one stone?
Give up the green tea!
NO NO NO!!! Don’t give up!!! It is WORTH having the extra energy you have when you are lighter! Which is only the first benefit that comes to mind.
Ignore the grunchy trolls, double up on the green tea, take another walk around, breathe deep and believe firmly YOU ARE WORTH IT!
If I MUST bring in the guilt card, consider the example you are setting your children?
I hate to say this but I’m in my forties and find it harder and harder to lose weight after only one child. I do have a hormonal imbalance from four years of broken sleep which doesn’t help. My partner doesn’t believe that the older you get the harder it is to lose – but I do think there is some truth to it. Helena you look pretty stunning in the pics I’ve seen of you with the dolphins so I’m sure you carry any extra weight beautifully. Channel your inner Nigella!
I do hate the stick thin look anyway and men love curves. Va Va Voom!
Where did you get the photo of me?
You are gorgeous, so don’t go fretting. Rupes is hilarious!
ps hurry back!