One for the boys
There are certain things I will never try, and I can confidently say that this is one of them. Penoplasty, or to give it its more colloquial name, penis enlargement, is not quite the complicated procedure you might assume. It has at least one thing in common with the breast enlargement I wrote about in January (https://bit.ly/2LUtdc9) in that it takes your own fat from somewhere you don’t want it and puts it somewhere you do.
Penis enlargement as they call it was pioneered in the UK by the plastic fantastic twins Dr Roberto and Dr Maurizio Viel who started performing the operation in their Harley Street clinic back in 1990. Since then they have enlarged around 200 penises a year. One of their happy customers told me that it was the best thing he ever did. “It’s increased my confidence on so many levels, not just in bed,” he said. He only had the girth widening procedure (where fat is harvested and then injected), which means the downtime is less significant. If you are looking to lengthen the penis as well then you need to have an added procedure that involves cutting the ligament that attaches it to the pubis area. However, be warned, the lengthening is only obvious when the penis is flaccid. The operation for both procedures takes up to an hour and a half and is carried out under sedation. Patients are advised to take things easy for the first two weeks and not to have sex for at least four weeks afterwards. After that of course, there’ll be no stopping you…
Penis Enlargement costs £6,400 for widening and £5,400 for lengthening or a combined price of £9,300 (including PRP, platelet rejuvenation treatment for quicker recovery) at the London Centre for Aesthetic Surgery email@example.com +44 207 6364272 www.lcas.com
PERFORMANCE: Am reliably informed it works extremely well.
VALUE FOR MONEY: 4/5
BEAUTY OR BEAST? Beauty baby…
Helena Frith Powell was born in Sweden to a Swedish mother and Italian father, but grew up mainly in England. She is the author of eleven books, translated into several languages including Chinese and Russian. She wrote the French Mistress column The Sunday Times about life in France for several years. She is a regular contributor to the Daily Mail, Mail on Sunday, The Times, Daily Telegraph, Tatler Magazine and Harper’s Bazaar.
Helena has been the editor of four magazines, including M Magazine, a supplement for the Abu Dhabi-based National Newspaper and FIVE, a high-end fashion glossy, also published in Abu Dhabi. Helena was also editor-in-chief of 360 Life, a quarterly glossy magazine published with the Sports 360 Newspaper in Dubai, part of the Chalhoub Group.
Helena contributes regularly to UK-based newspapers and magazines and holds a Masters in Creative Writing from the University of Cambridge. She is working on a thriller set in Sweden as well as a novel about the relationship between Virginia Woolf and Katherine Mansfield called Sense of an Echo.
In 2022 her short story The Japanese Gardener came second in the Fish Publishing Short Story Prize. One of her stories was also shortlisted for the Bridport Short Story Prize. When she’s not writing, she works as a headhunter for the media and entertainment industry for the Sucherman Group.
Helena, who was educated at Durham University, lives in the Languedoc region of France with her husband Rupert and their three children.
More France Please, we’re British; Gibson Square 2004
Two Lipsticks and a Lover 2005; Gibson Square (hardback)
All You Need to be Impossibly French; (US version of above) Penguin 2006
Two Lipsticks and a Lover; Arrow Books (paperback) 2007
Ciao Bella Gibson Square; (hardback) 2006
Ciao Bella Gibson Square; (paperback) 2007
So Chic! (French version of Two Lipsticks) Leduc Editions 2008 (also translated into Chinese, Russian and Thai)
More, More France; Gibson Square 2009
To Hell in High Heels; Arrow Books 2009 (also translated into Polish)
The Viva Mayr Diet; Harper Collins 2009
Love in a Warm Climate; Gibson Square 2011
The Ex-Factor; Gibson Square 2013
Smart Women Don’t Get Wrinkles; Gibson Square 2016
The Arnolfini Marriage; Amazon Kindle December 2016
Smart Women Don’t Get Wrinkles (paperback); Gibson Square spring 2018
The Longest Night; Gibson Square spring 2019