By Helena Frith Powell

Rather than arguing about who is going to empty the dishwasher, in our home we have endless fights about filling it. I stand alone (unless Rishi happens to pop in for lunch) in the ‘everything has its place’ corner. In the opposing corner is my husband and five children. Our dishwasher has one of those top drawers where you lay the cutlery out in rows. I like my cutlery lined up like soldiers in regiments: teaspoons, forks, knives all bunched next to each other. When the cycle is complete, you can scoop them up in one go to pop them back in the cutlery drawer where, surprise, surprise, they also live according to their category. Is there anything more satisfying? No one else does this. They put the cutlery wherever happens to be most convenient. When I complain, they call me ridiculous, obsessive compulsive, absurd and worse. ‘Life’s too short,’ my son wails when I tell him to separate his knife and fork. ‘There are more important things in life to worry about than dishwashers,’ my husband agrees.I like cutlery lined up like soldiers in regiments That may be so, but in my view, loading a dishwasher may as well be done properly. I mean it’s just as easy to load it well as badly, so why not just do a good job of it? Large plates should be on the edges of the bottom drawer; not only does this leave plenty of room for saucepans and other items in the middle, but it also means the washing wand doesn’t get stuck should your top drawer be on a lower level to hold, for example, wine glasses neatly stacked in a row. This is one of those details they all ignore, much as they ignore the fact the filter needs rinsing out regularly. Filter cleaning is linked to the issue that creates by far the most tension: rinsing. In my early 20s, I was told by the mother of a close friend of mine to always rinse and it is one of those bits of advice I have carried with me ever since. I rinse everything. If ever I am tempted not to rinse, that moment springs back into my mind and I rush for the tap. My family repeatedly attempt to wean me off the habit. They have tried everything from cajoling to threats to showing me YouTube videos that purport to prove how rinsing actually damages dishwashers and uses a lot of water. Propaganda, I say, put about by the anti-rinse brigade who are as pernicious as Lilliput’s Big-Endians. I may not agree with everything Rishi says, but on the subject of dishwashers, we are as one.