It was impossible to predict how I would feel once back home, having left my three children behind in England.
It has only been two days but so far I feel rather flat. Their rooms of course are a constant reminder of them, and I am going to have to transform them into something other than ‘practically empty children’s rooms’. A yoga room for example, and a library. Maybe a movie room? Or a dressing room?
Funnily enough it is a little bit like being chucked. Every time I am reminded of the fact that they’re not here, I feel a twinge somewhere in my chest. I only feel better if I am doing something vaguely related to them, such as ordering tuck or planning flights to see them.
A friend told me that when you send your children to boarding school, you’re only ever as happy as your most miserable child. By that token I should be ecstatic. Leo told me last night school was “brilliant”. Granted he has only had two days, but it’s a good start. The girls are now into their second week and the only complaint is about the lack of food. “You know they only feed you THREE times a day?” Olivia told me the other night in a state of shock. Bea just sent me a voice message on BBM telling me how good my cooking is before adding “is there anyone out there who could send me some tuck?”
Next week I head back for their first exeat, I can’t wait to see them, I wonder if they will seem very different. Their lives have been totally transformed. Instead of sitting in their rooms at the weekend on Facebook the girls are now playing rounders, participating in flamenco evenings, going to plays and looking for food.
Leo is already in the cricket team, reason enough for him to leave his school here was that he wasn’t selected. He will be spending this term playing matches all over the home counties in his smart new whites.
Here he is with his cricket ball he day before we left for school.
However sad I am not to have them here, I am very happy they are there, if that makes sense.
Copyright: Helena Frith Powell 2013
It does leave a hole in your lives when they go. They gain from it. We lose their company (and some of the stroppy behaviour). When they come home you will have to take out a loan to feed them !! You will be thrilled by their company.
And feel pangs in your chest when they go. As long as they are happy and they thrive that’s the main thing. A different story of course if they didn’t fingers crossed for them.
We must have a coffee at some point when you are in London. Love R xx
Dear Helena
My son has nearly finished three years as a weekly boarder. He says it was the greatest experience of his life (he is only 16!) and it has enriched his character in so many ways. For me sending him away it has been one of the worst experiences, I have found it so emotional (empty room syndrome) and missed his company terribly even though I have two younger children still at home , however I have found since having children that doing the best you possibly can for your offspring isn’t always easy ! Best of luck, I feel for you and it definitely makes the times you do see them “quality ” time as well as empty fridge time….
Best wishes.
Thanks Rosemary, so far they are all really happy, which makes it all worthwhile. Am really missing them but will see them on Friday, less than a week to go! Brief visit though, just for the weekend xx
Thanks Sarah, I am still getting used to things, the house does seem SO empty and the fact that they are so very far away is tough but I agree that if you know it’s the best thing for them then as a parent you have to do it. When I spoke to Leo last he sounded so grown-up. Rosemary love the fridge comment, both girls seem to be permanently hungry!!