So the international conspiracy to keep me awake goes on. The perpetrators will stop at nothing. Now they have a gang of highly-trained mice that at 5.30am every morning scuttle back and forth across the roof. It sounds like there are 50 of them racing to get to a big piece of Emmental.
Of course that hour when the rest of the house sleeps (damn them) is horribly lonely. I lie there worrying about everything and anything. This morning I worried about my new spa retreat. ‘What on earth do I know about spa retreats?’ I asked myself as the mice reached the finishing line. ‘Who do I think I am? I have been to plenty of spas, but what the hell do I know?’
Unable to get back to sleep I got out of bed and into the tree pose. This is one of the poses our spa yogi Anna taught us on our dry-run a few days ago. Since then I have found it indispensable. First and foremost when you need calming down this is ideal. Got an email that makes you want to punch your computer? Stand up, lift one leg and balance against the other leg just below your groin. Stretch your arms up and breeeaaaaathe. Stand like this for a few seconds before doing the same on the other side. After that sit down and the email will seem irrelevant. The other thing the tree pose is excellent for is calming the children down.
Yesterday all three of them decided to start a fight (thankfully only with each other) in the supermarket. Did I yell and holler like every other mother in the middle of the school holidays? Nooooo. I did the tree pose. Right there, in the middle of the shop-floor. It sure as hell shut the children up.
So as I was standing there at 5.45 this morning in said tree pose I realised that my spa has already been a success. Among other things I have learnt how to relax when I most need to, I have learnt that eating Wild Alaskan Salmon makes my skin glow and I have learnt how to walk like a supermodel. And that was just after a day and a half. Now what I want to do is share all this and more with other women.
The other good thing about the spa retreat is that there will be no mice there to keep me awake. And even if the international conspiracy comes up with something else, I will be able to outwit it by standing on one leg and breathing serenely.
Copyright: Helena Frith Powell 2008
I absolutely wish that I could get to enjoy your spa retreat. Alas and alack being me means you don’t have enough money for rent! Coming to your website does remind me to check my bad american posture, though. So you are giving me a better back. Thank you 🙂
That’s my aim Amber! Am thrilled.
Having trouble eating the Salmon whilst on one leg…
have i got this right?
God luck with the mice, sounds like a call to the pest control.
Wild Alaskan Salmon makes your skin glow?
I thought you hated fish… Maybe the glow is the first stage of an allergy?
Okay! I noted the American bashing from Jules’ on your last blog and wanted to get my two cents in. I think there are enough celebs on TV (American and Brits) who display an appalling amount of bad taste in music, costume and behavior. The fact that they are on TV and that people actually watch them stuns me! I’ve got to tell you that between the reality TV and the game shows, I have abandoned network TV in favor of PBS or reading a book. It’s hard enough to maintain one’s brain cells without exposing it to the lowest common denominator of public taste. American TV is no better or worse that British TV. Most of these fowl shows came to us from their British TV versions. This only proves that shit floats east. I believe that you (Brits) should stop judging Americans like we’re your lower class neighbors. You have plenty of your own problems to solve without being so snooty. So take that!
I was merely pointing out that the Osbournes shot to fame in a TV show in the US. I would never criticise a country that gave me Dr McDreamy and Laura Mercier lip-gloss.
Do you mean me? Last comment on H’s blog involved Amy Winehouse (British) and Madeleine (British) Where’s the American bashing Sharyn?