I have just finished reading Nora Ephron’s latest book. It’s called I Feel Bad About My Neck and other thoughts on being a woman. I loved it, although I was a bit disappointed it was really a collection of articles and not one cohesive book. Even though I had never actually read any of the articles I felt a bit short-changed. Anyway, one of my favourite bits was What I Wish I’d Known (one of the few chapters that was actually written for the book). In in Nora lists just that. Some of my favourites are: The plane is not going to crash; If the shoe doesn’t fit in the shoe store, it’s never going to fit; When your children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you; Whenever someone says the words “Our friendship is more important than this,” watch out, because it almost never is and finally Never marry a man you wouldn’t want to be divorced from.
I have compiled a short list of my own things I think everyone should know.
Smoking is stupid
If you have to ask ‘does my bum look big in this?’ chances are the only honest answer is yes.
If you don’t ask, you don’t get (from Rupert’s grandmother Kitty – sadly now dead, a real gem)
If you keep drinking at that rate you ARE going to get a hangover
There is no upside to name-dropping
If you have to ask ‘do you love me?’ chances are the only honest answer is no
Friends will hate you if you tell them how to bring up their children
Mozart is the master
Children are never grateful
Our childhood was always much worse than our childrens’ childhoods
And our parents life was always much tougher than ours is
So we all have a dreadful time!