I am watching England v Germany as I write. I have decided that supporting England is like the ultimate abusive relationship.
They do just enough to keep you interested by changing their shirt colour and beating the Netherlands once every few years and even Germany once or twice. You think all the years of suffering was worth it as you get a few minutes of pure bliss.
But then suddenly they can’t even beat the USA and you wonder what on earth happened. Or you sit and watch as the commentator says; “If Waddle misses this England are out of the World Cup.” And of course he does miss. And you never forget that phrase.
Germany has just scored. It is one-nil. And still we watch in the vain hope that there will be a miraculous turnaround and our boys will do something to keep us in the relationship for another four years…..
OK, it’s now two-nil. Porca Miseria.
Copyright: Helena Frith Powell 2010