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Parental truths number Two

25th February 2007 by Helena 9 Comments  

The other night when Rupert was away and the two smaller children were in bed, Olivia (aged seven) and I had what people rather nauseatingly call “quality” time together. We sat in a rose-oil scented bath, both wearing shower caps, and discussed life’s important issues such as why people die and whether Dr McDreamy loves Meredith or his bossy wife.

Then we moved on to lesser topics such as what I wanted to be when I was a little girl. The answer is a vet for wild animals, a surgeon, an actress or a writer. Olivia liked the idea of being a vet or an actress. The surgeon didn’t appeal because “you have to hold hearts”. She liked the idea of writing a book about how annoying her sister is.

When we got out of the bath we both wrapped ourselves in white towels and started brushing our teeth. I wandered out of the bathroom towards the fireplace, still brushing my teeth. I looked behind me at one stage and there was this little girl, gazing up at me adoringly, copying my every movement. All of a sudden a terrible voice came into my head which said; “One day she will hate you.”

I had a terrible night’s sleep. All night that sentence went round and round in my head. I wondered what they will hate me for. Travelling too much? Not sharing my night cream with them? Refusing to take them to McDonald’s? Always being on a deadline?

It occurred to me that while a mother’s love is unconditional forever; a child’s is only unconditional for a very short time. As Oscar Wilde said; “Children begin by loving their parents; after a time they judge them; rarely, if ever, do they forgive them.”

I am hoping my children will all go through the normal process of hating me when they’re sixteen and then realising there are worse people. Maybe they’ll take after me. I never went through a rebellious teenage phase, my mother was far too nice and anyway always much more of a rebel than me.

Luckily at the moment the children’s hate is focused on Maud. Maud is nine years old and is Leo’s girlfriend (despite the fact that he is only three). Or so he thought until he had the following conversation with his sisters. You need to know that Astrid is a little girl who is two years old.

Bea: Leo, Maud doesn’t love you, she’s a liar. Look at me, I’m not joking when I say it.

Olivia: That’s not nice; she’s a big girl, that’s not nice to lie to a little boy.

Bea: Yes, he’s just a little boy with his little heart.

Leo: Yes I am.

Bea: Leo, Astrid might be smaller than you, but she loves you.

Olivia: That’s good, anyway boys are supposed to be bigger than girls.

I am pleased to report that yesterday, according to the girls, Leo and Astrid “kissed on the lips”, although any talk of marriage was quickly denied by both parties.

Eat your heart out Maud.

Copyright: Helena Frith Powell 2007


Filed Under: Children, Family, Life, blog --> Tagged With: number, parental, truths

9 thoughts on Parental truths number Two

  • Anna says:
    26th February 2007 at 11:57 am

    My stepsons (11 and 9) argue constantly over which one of them is going to marry my two year old daughter (their stepsister). We have explained to them that neither of them are going to marry her, but to no avail. Alexandre (11) was overheard to say about his sister that “c’est moi qui me marie avec elle, et d’ailleurs, elle est déj? enceinte.”

  • Sally Lomax says:
    26th February 2007 at 2:05 pm

    So how old is Leo?

    Sally

  • helena says:
    26th February 2007 at 2:12 pm

    Hello Sally
    Leo is three, I will add that now, good point.
    H

  • cathy says:
    26th February 2007 at 3:36 pm

    My partner found our five year old daughter on the computer last night in between tea and bathtime, carefully typing in HUGE font “I hate Mum I hate Dad I hate Ben” (Ben’s her brother). I still have no idea what we did to upset her. She was fine when I went to read her a bedtime story a few moments later.
    My two children regularly say they hate me, usually when I say “no” to something… like sweets, an extra hour of telly, or a later bedtime.

  • May says:
    27th February 2007 at 9:21 am

    The truth is you do end up best friends with your mum once you’ve gone through the phase of uni/first jobs/unstable love life. Then your parents relax as there’s not much to complain about and you realize that your mother and yourself are too similar in ways to argue much!

  • spymum says:
    27th February 2007 at 4:23 pm

    Dinna worry pet; she will never hate you! After all the teenage stuff is through girls love their mummies and mummies love their girs! (ooh, I’m getting all sentimental now! [Dabs at moist eyes.]

  • Helena Frith Powell says:
    19th March 2007 at 9:56 am

    […] I am pleased to report that unlike me, Olivia has fallen in love for the first time and he actually likes her too. The object of her affections is Quentin, brother of Maud, Leo’s girlfriend who apparently does love him after all (see Parental Truths Number Two blog). […]

  • ParisBreakfasts says:
    19th March 2007 at 11:00 pm

    Puppy love – very sweet
    I remember being the Belle of the ball in the 4th grade.
    I had a serious proposal of mariage that got forgotten later on…
    Perplexing this mother hating thing…
    You have to hate someone as a teenager. Isn’t it better to hate someone you know will forgive you?
    On the other hand, at 12 my mother would complain, why did I have to grow up? I was so sweet at 10!?
    It’s not just teenagers who go through a period of adjustment.

  • simon leathers says:
    5th May 2007 at 5:09 am

    Hi Hels,

    I don’t think that it is in their nature to hate you unless they get flash backs to those evenings when they were handed over to me while mummy and daddy went out. I blame the haircutting incident on this.
    Should you need to address this in nine years time then I would be thrilled to have them come to the states and stay with me.

    Cheers,

    Naughty Simmone,

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Helena Frith Powell was born in Sweden to a Swedish mother and Italian father, but grew up mainly in England. She is the author of eleven books, translated into several languages including Chinese and Russian. She wrote the French Mistress column The Sunday Times about life in France for several years. She is a regular contributor to the Daily Mail, Mail on Sunday, The Times, Daily Telegraph, Tatler Magazine and Harper’s Bazaar.

Helena has been the editor of four magazines, including M Magazine, a supplement for the Abu Dhabi-based National Newspaper and FIVE, a high-end fashion glossy, also published in Abu Dhabi. Helena was also editor-in-chief of 360 Life, a quarterly glossy magazine published with the Sports 360 Newspaper in Dubai, part of the Chalhoub Group.

Helena contributes regularly to UK-based newspapers and magazines and holds a Masters in Creative Writing from the University of Cambridge. She is working on a thriller set in Sweden as well as a novel about the relationship between Virginia Woolf and Katherine Mansfield called Sense of an Echo.

In 2022 her short story The Japanese Gardener came second in the Fish Publishing Short Story Prize. One of her stories was also shortlisted for the Bridport Short Story Prize. When she’s not writing, she works as a headhunter for the media and entertainment industry for the Sucherman Group. 

Helena, who was educated at Durham University, lives in the Languedoc region of France with her husband Rupert and their three children.

Bibliography

More France Please, we’re British; Gibson Square 2004

Two Lipsticks and a Lover 2005; Gibson Square (hardback)

All You Need to be Impossibly French; (US version of above) Penguin 2006

Two Lipsticks and a Lover; Arrow Books (paperback) 2007

Ciao Bella Gibson Square; (hardback) 2006

Ciao Bella Gibson Square; (paperback) 2007

So Chic! (French version of Two Lipsticks) Leduc Editions 2008 (also translated into Chinese, Russian and Thai)

More, More France; Gibson Square 2009

To Hell in High Heels; Arrow Books 2009 (also translated into Polish)

The Viva Mayr Diet; Harper Collins 2009

Love in a Warm Climate; Gibson Square 2011

The Ex-Factor; Gibson Square 2013

Smart Women Don’t Get Wrinkles; Gibson Square 2016

The Arnolfini Marriage; Amazon Kindle December 2016

Smart Women Don’t Get Wrinkles (paperback); Gibson Square spring 2018

The Longest Night; Gibson Square spring 2019

 

 

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