I am pleased to annouce that I am incredibly posh. The reason I know this is that none of my friends have central heating. It is a well known fact that the posher you are, the colder your home is. In fact one of the friends I stayed with in London during this visit didn’t even have hot water, so she must be almost royal. Last night I was unable to sleep because my nose was so cold. I’m all for getting into the seasonal swing and all that but do I need to look like Rudolf?
I am now on the train on my way back to France. My final Christmas party was the Daily Mail one. I met Shere Hite there, author of the famous Hite Report on Female Sexuality. I had always imagined she would be rather academic and serious. Not a bit of it. She made Joan Collins look natural.
She had obviously had a lot of work done. At a guess I would say at least one face-lift, lots of lip implants and botox. She looked insane. She looked scary. She looked older than her 65 years. I suppose the rest of us should be grateful to her. Not only because she talked openly and loudly about the importance of the female orgasm, way back in 1976, but because she is a prime example of a truly terrible approach to ageing.
Copyright: Helena Frith Powell 2007
‘she looked insane’ – and this is how not to age?
You misunderstood me, I meant this is how one should not age. I will change it to make it clearer, thanks.
No…it was me being stoopid. Not unprecedented! Sorry. You were perfectly cromulent.
You may be posh, but you clearly have a poor grasp of grammar. You say: “none of my friends have central heating”. This should read: “none of my friends has central heating”. None is an abbreviated form of not one, thus takes a singular verb.
Keep up the good work!
PS Perhaps it’s all the orgasms that aged poor Shere so?
You’re right, I am a grammatical failure. Thank goodness you’re there to correct me.
On the orgasms, au contraire, as I discovered while researching my book, orgasms are very anti-ageing, especially in plural.