It is a well-known fact that French women don’t like the gym. In fact, they would rather do anything than go to a gym, including, as with one woman I interviewed once, not eating croissants for over 30 years. French perfumeries, chemists and supermarkets are full of slimming creams, pills, lotions and potions. A French woman will not fight her cellulite on an exercise bike, she will try to smother it with unguents.
During our stay in France this summer I took this ‘no pain, lots of gain’ philosophy a step further. I was introduced to a massage man called Sehil, who claimed to be able to melt fat by means of massaging my stomach with a machine that sends infrared light into your fat cells. This melts them and the fat is then drained away through your lymphatic system. In addition to melting fat, this miraculous machine tones the skin and improves its texture by promoting the production of collagen through heat.
Of course I didn’t believe any of this for a minute. “Only the French would come up with the notion that a massage can make you thinner,” was my immediate thought. But of course I am never one to turn down an opportunity for a kip, and I figured it was worth a try. In addition, Sehil came highly recommended from a girl I know whose thighs used to be a different size, and are now, thanks to the massage man and his machine, perfectly matched. “He calls is body sculpting,” she told me. “It’s incredible.”
After the first session I was still skeptical, but I did fall asleep so I figured it was worth it whatever else happened. Sehil also catered to all my inner neurosis by telling me that parts of my lymphatic system was blocked and that he was going to release it. Ah, so that’s why I’m so bad tempered/insomniac/neurotic/scatty etc etc.
I arrived at the second session with a dreadful hangover. I didn’t tell him, but after a few minutes he asked me how much I had eaten and drunk the night before. Then he pressed a few points on my body (which hurt) and by the time I left my hangover was gone. The fat melting by the way happened every session as well, just as soon as my other issues had been dealt with.
By the end of my third session I noticed a huge difference. My jeans shorts were suddenly too big – a miracle considering I had done practically nothing since I arrived in France bar drink and eat. Endless long lunches and dinners, not to mention the aperitifs, must have all added up to thousands of extra calories. But where were they? Not around my stomach, that’s for sure. My stomach was flatter than it had been since the children, and I felt great (despite daily hangovers).
Sehil tells me the effects of the treatment go way beyond just the body sculpting. “You will feel rejuvenated in so many ways,” he told me. He is right, I am not only thinner, but I feel much better on so many levels. Maybe my lymphatic system really was blocked.
Anyway, whatever it was, I am doing a Remington (“I liked it so much I bought the company) impression and bringing Sehil and his magical fat melting machine to Abu Dhabi in January.
Form an orderly line please ladies…..
Copyright: Helena Frith Powell 2012