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Alone at last…..

2nd January 2007 by Helena 1 Comment  

So they’ve all gone. But not before my aunt managed to fall out with me as well, just minutes before she left. She was lecturing me about something and I didn’t show enough interest so she got very grumpy. Stupid really, I only had another half an hour to go. I felt rather like one of those unfortunate prisoners-of-war who was shot minutes before the Allied forces rolled in. I also gave her a copy of Ciao Bella. Not because I wanted to, but because she asked for it. As I wrote a dedication I felt like I was signing away my inheritance. I’m not sure she’ll like what she reads. It is all true, but most people don’t often enjoy seeing the truth about themselves in print. I’m sure I would be the same. Especially as I have focused on her inability to tell the truth 90 per cent of the time.

Mrs TittlemouseSo now the big clean-up starts. The house is in chaos. My father, who was brought up with maids, has left a trail of destruction behind him. I feel like Mrs Tittlemouse after a particularly long visit from the odious Mr Toad. Granted my father is a lot more interesting than Mr Toad, even if he has a similar body shape. But the good news is women who do housework are less likely to get breast cancer. Yep, that’s the conclusion from research on more than 200,000 women carried out by Cancer Research UK. If you don’t believe me check out the link http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/em/fr/-/2/hi/health/6214655.stm. So as I hoover and dust and empty the dishwasher for the 405th time during 10 days I can console myself with the fact that my chances of surviving breast cancer are getting higher every moment.

I have another theory. My theory is this: if you really want to avoid getting cancer watch someone else do the housework while a man at least 10 years younger than you plays with your breasts. I have yet to furnish any proof for this theory but am sure I won’t have trouble finding women willing to take part in this essential medical experiment. I, for example, am willing to sacrifice myself in the name of science.


Filed Under: blog --> Tagged With: alone

One thought on Alone at last.....

  • simon Leathers says:
    5th January 2007 at 12:27 am

    I can’t believe that there have been no comments on this rather open ended offer. Unfortunetly I am not 10 years younger but I do have a brother who is and this would definitly take care of his birthday present this year and probably next as well.

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Helena Frith Powell was born in Sweden to a Swedish mother and Italian father, but grew up mainly in England. She is the author of eleven books, translated into several languages including Chinese and Russian. She wrote the French Mistress column The Sunday Times about life in France for several years. She is a regular contributor to the Daily Mail, Mail on Sunday, The Times, Daily Telegraph, Tatler Magazine and Harper’s Bazaar.

Helena has been the editor of four magazines, including M Magazine, a supplement for the Abu Dhabi based National Newspaper and FIVE, a high-end fashion glossy, also published in Abu Dhabi. Helena was also editor in chief of 360 Life, a quarterly glossy magazine published with the Sports 360 Newspaper in Dubai, part of the Chalhoub Group.

Helena contributes regularly to UK-based newspapers and magazines and holds a Masters in Creative Writing from the University of Cambridge. Helena is working on a thriller called Thin Ice that will be published in 2021 as well as a novel about the relationship between Virginia Woolf and Katherine Mansfield called Sense of an Echo.

Her latest non-fiction work Smart Women Don’t Get Wrinkles came out in hardback in 2016 and in paperback in April 2018.

Helena, who was educated at Durham University, lives in the Languedoc region of France with her husband Rupert and their three children.

Bibliography

More France Please, we’re British; Gibson Square 2004

Two Lipsticks and a Lover 2005; Gibson Square (hardback)

All You Need to be Impossibly French; (US version of above) Penguin 2006

Two Lipsticks and a Lover; Arrow Books (paperback) 2007

Ciao Bella Gibson Square; (hardback) 2006

Ciao Bella Gibson Square; (paperback) 2007

So Chic! (French version of Two Lipsticks) Leduc Editions 2008 (also translated into Chinese, Russian and Thai)

More, More France; Gibson Square 2009

To Hell in High Heels; Arrow Books 2009 (also translated into Polish)

The Viva Mayr Diet; Harper Collins 2009

Love in a Warm Climate; Gibson Square 2011

The Ex-Factor; Gibson Square 2013

Smart Women Don’t Get Wrinkles; Gibson Square 2016

The Arnolfini Marriage; Amazon Kindle December 2016

Smart Women Don’t Get Wrinkles (paperback); Gibson Square spring 2018

The Longest Night; Gibson Square spring 2019

 

 

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