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A life without expectations

17th January 2010 by Helena 8 Comments  

Every week in the magazine we have a back page interview called Life Lessons where people I interview give their five life lessons. I have thought long and hard about what my life lessons would be and can only come up with a couple.

Treat everyone as your best friend would be one of them. This is what Ines de la Fressange told me when I thanked her for all her time and help with Two Lipsticks and a Lover.

Another would be to get the hairs on your legs lasered well before the age of 40. I could have written another book with all that time I spend shaving and waxing.

Last week I interviewed my lovely yoga teacher Ria. Her number one life lesson is Live your life without expectations. This is of course not a new concept. Benjamin Franklin once said: “Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed.” But it is really worth thinking about.

Over the weekend I expected nothing from the children and guess what? They behaved a lot better than normal. Although Leo did have a mini-tremor at one stage and told me “life is so frustrating at this age”. This was after he came out of the bathroom, his face covered in Hermes body lotion and asked me “do I look younger?”

Anyway the fact is if you expect nothing and get something you are overjoyed and if you get nothing you are not upset. So there’s really no downside. I have realised that the problem with my life so far has been high expectations. I expected all my books to become bestsellers and they didn’t (with the exception of Two Lipsticks which sold above the 10,000 copies required to classify it as a bestseller). This time I am just going to expect that it does nothing and so I will be pleasantly surprised if it does anything else. It may sound hard to do but once you get your head around it, it’s as easy as a forward bend. Easier in fact.

So here’s to a life of contentment with no expectations but lots of success. If that makes sense…..And not that I’m expecting it….

Copyright: Helena Frith Powell 2010


Filed Under: Life, Work, blog --> Tagged With: expectations, without

8 thoughts on A life without expectations

  • Kate says:
    17th January 2010 at 7:50 am

    What a great concept! I too always set the bar way too high and am then disappointed when things don\’t go as well as I\’d hoped. The legacy of life in a high-flying career, I suspect. Happy New Year, Helena, and best wishes for an expectation-free 2010.

  • helena says:
    17th January 2010 at 9:29 am

    Thanks Kate and to you too Hx

  • Joan says:
    17th January 2010 at 8:34 pm

    Quite agree with the idea after a fairly long stint in this world although I must admit to low expectations rather than none especially where books are concerned. Thoroughly enjoyed your Ciao Bella especially as I am trying to learn Italian and at present am in the middle of Jo Tatchell’s A Diamond in the Desert about Abu Dhabi….wondered what you thought of her opinions? Happy New Year with many glad surprises!

  • Cid says:
    17th January 2010 at 10:44 pm

    One of my favourite quotations (attributed to that great thinker, Anonymous) is “Those with no expectations are never disappointed.” Oh so true, especially for those of us who are parents.

  • Josephine says:
    24th January 2010 at 1:32 pm

    So opposite the new age school of thought. Perhaps your next book should be a sort of anti-Secret? I think I need to practice this for awhile but the old visualisation board is going to look pretty blank! xx

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Helena Frith Powell was born in Sweden to a Swedish mother and Italian father, but grew up mainly in England. She is the author of eleven books, translated into several languages including Chinese and Russian. She wrote the French Mistress column The Sunday Times about life in France for several years. She is a regular contributor to the Daily Mail, Mail on Sunday, The Times, Daily Telegraph, Tatler Magazine and Harper’s Bazaar.

Helena has been the editor of four magazines, including M Magazine, a supplement for the Abu Dhabi-based National Newspaper and FIVE, a high-end fashion glossy, also published in Abu Dhabi. Helena was also editor-in-chief of 360 Life, a quarterly glossy magazine published with the Sports 360 Newspaper in Dubai, part of the Chalhoub Group.

Helena contributes regularly to UK-based newspapers and magazines and holds a Masters in Creative Writing from the University of Cambridge. She is working on a thriller set in Sweden as well as a novel about the relationship between Virginia Woolf and Katherine Mansfield called Sense of an Echo.

In 2022 her short story The Japanese Gardener came second in the Fish Publishing Short Story Prize. One of her stories was also shortlisted for the Bridport Short Story Prize. When she’s not writing, she works as a headhunter for the media and entertainment industry for the Sucherman Group. 

Helena, who was educated at Durham University, lives in the Languedoc region of France with her husband Rupert and their three children.

Bibliography

More France Please, we’re British; Gibson Square 2004

Two Lipsticks and a Lover 2005; Gibson Square (hardback)

All You Need to be Impossibly French; (US version of above) Penguin 2006

Two Lipsticks and a Lover; Arrow Books (paperback) 2007

Ciao Bella Gibson Square; (hardback) 2006

Ciao Bella Gibson Square; (paperback) 2007

So Chic! (French version of Two Lipsticks) Leduc Editions 2008 (also translated into Chinese, Russian and Thai)

More, More France; Gibson Square 2009

To Hell in High Heels; Arrow Books 2009 (also translated into Polish)

The Viva Mayr Diet; Harper Collins 2009

Love in a Warm Climate; Gibson Square 2011

The Ex-Factor; Gibson Square 2013

Smart Women Don’t Get Wrinkles; Gibson Square 2016

The Arnolfini Marriage; Amazon Kindle December 2016

Smart Women Don’t Get Wrinkles (paperback); Gibson Square spring 2018

The Longest Night; Gibson Square spring 2019

 

 

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