Settling in well….

“Would you be angry if I covered a lacrosse pitch with loo paper?”This slightly leading beginning to an email was sent to Rupert yesterday, and alerted us to the fact that Bea had been up to mischief at school.
The girls have settled in enormously well. I have not had a single word of complaint, well at least not from them. They have made fabulous new friends, are loving their studies and just to complete their integration have now both been gated before they even got to half term.0603561616
Olivia put spot cream on someone’s toothbrush and Bea, along with 11 others in her year, for some reason decided that the lacrosse pitch would benefit from a carpet made of loo roll. This jolly jape was carried out at midnight as the rest of the school slumbered.
Both incidents are like something out of Malory Towers and I refuse to get angry about either. In fact I think that if they are up to (slight) mischief it’s quite a good sign. As my lovely Swedish grandfather Erik would have said: “You don’t want your children to be BORING do you?” I was also extremely pleased to hear from the school that “all 12 girls involved in the incident are saying it was a group effort and that no one person took the lead”. One of the best lessons one learns from an English public school is not to be a sneak.
So far, sending them to school has been a great decision. As it gets unbearably hot here, they are running around the countryside. Olivia is in the tennis team and has her first match tomorrow. Bea scored five and a half rounders yesterday and whenever I try to call Leo his phone goes on to answer machine. I finally got hold of him a couple of nights ago and asked him where he’d been for five days. “Outside,” he replied.DTCP_15_04_13_Frith-Powell_01.jpg
So far Leo has not been gated. He is too busy taking wickets, or playing with his new friends Hector and Harry (am now slightly wishing I had called him Horatio). Next week we fly over to take them to France for half term. Olivia of course can only stay three days because she has a “MASSIVE party” to go to with her friends.
I will be sad not to see her for longer, but wouldn’t want it any other way.

Copyright: Helena Frith Powell 2013

A tribute to Denise Epstein

I wrote this article in 2007 for the Sunday Times. Denise died earlier this month and I am posting it with much sadness but happy memories of meeting her.

When Irene Némirovsky was sent to Auschwitz she left behind a hidden literary sensation – and a lot of pain, her daughter tells Helena Frith Powell

Not many of us can name a day when our lives change for ever, but for Denise Epstein there’s an exact date. It remains a vivid and painful memory, etched on her mind like a tattoo. “For me, life finished on July 13, 1942,” she tells me over a cup of Fortnum & Mason tea in her modest flat in Toulouse. “Since then I have been surviving day to day.”

On that day in July, Denise’s mother Irene Némirovsky was arrested in the small Burgundy village of Issy-L’Evêque, where the family had fled after the fall of Paris, for being a “stateless person of Jewish descent”. She was interned at Pithiviers, the French concentration camp, and then transported to Auschwitz where she died a month later, aged 39.

Denise, now 77, is an extremely petite woman who moves like someone 20 years younger. Elegantly dressed in a cream polo-neck jumper, black skirt and cardigan, she is warm and welcoming when I visit her, taking my hand in both hers and leading me into her sitting room. Her face is lined and animated, her voice deep and gravelly. When she lights up the first of many cigarettes she asks me again and again if I mind. I do, but of course I don’t say so. At least she has a good excuse for smoking.

On the day her mother was arrested, Denise recalls that a neighbour ran over to warn the family that the police were coming. The neighbour took Denise, then aged 13, and her younger sister Elizabeth, 5, into her house to hide them.

“When she realised they had just come for my mother she let us go back to say goodbye,” Denise tells me. “My mother told us she was going on a journey; there were no tears, no drama. It wasn’t until I saw the effect it had on my father that I realised the situation was really very serious.” One effect was that he lost his temper with the maid when she laid the table for the evening meal and didn’t lay a place for her mother. “From that day on, we always laid a place for her, just as if she’d just gone for a walk and would come back at any moment.”

Denise’s story would be just another sad tale told by an old lady in a small flat in Toulouse, if it were not for something her mother had left behind. Three months after her mother’s disappearance, her father was also taken away. Before he left, as he was convinced at the time, “to join his wife”, he told Denise to look after her mother’s notebooks and her sister.

When the time came for Denise to flee from the French police, who were keen to limit the number of Jewish orphans left in France, she had the choice of her sister, a leather suitcase containing the notebooks, and her favourite doll. images

“As I had only two hands, I took my sister and the suitcase. I often wonder what happened to that doll,” she says. “I feel like I’ve been searching for it ever since.”

The manuscripts inside the suitcase contained the text of Suite Française, the French publishing sensation of 2004 that is taking the Anglo-Saxon world by storm. It tells in vivid prose the story of the early days of the second world war and the reaction of the French to the German invasion.

Denise only looked at the manuscripts for the first time during the 1970s. “At first I didn’t touch it because I thought my mother would come back and that it belonged to her,” she says. “But after I saw the state of people returning from the camps, I lost all hope and realised she would never return. Then for so many years it was just too painful to open at all.”

Finally a writer friend of Denise’s, on hearing that the notebooks contained the first two parts of an unfinished five-part novel, implored her to send it to her publisher. The day he got it he phoned her and asked her to come to Paris. Since then the phone hasn’t stopped ringing. The book has become an international bestseller in more than 25 countries. Denise has been flown all over the world to meet editors, publishers and a public who are mad about her story and her mother’s prose.

Denise remembers her mother as a woman who read to her constantly, who was affectionate, caring and hard-working. “She worked all the time; that was her passion. I was born into books.”

Another work of Némirovsky’s will be published in France on March 1. It is called Chaleur du Sang and is one of a number of papers including a selection of short stories Irãne sent to a close friend for safe-keeping before her death. “It’s a lovely book,” says Denise. “No war and no Jews, which is a good start.”

As in Suite Française, the setting and characters in Chaleur du Sang are based on the village of Issy-L’Evêque. “I have never named anyone publicly,” says Denise. “And of course a lot of them are dead. But the ones who aren’t know who they are; every person in it is based on someone we knew. Reading Suite Française was like reading a book about the life I once had.” Only one of the “characters” has got in touch with her. “He’s thrilled to be immortalised,” says Denise. “But I’m not telling you who it is.”

The only characters who have a real surname in Némirovsky’s books are the Michauds. Cécile Michaud was the name of Denise’s nanny, who became a close friend of Irãne’s. On hearing that Hitler had been elected in 1933, Némirovsky told Michaud: “We’re all going to die.”

Denise is still shocked at how much her mother seemed to understand. “I was so angry with my mother when I saw how lucid her prose was, it was so obvious to me that she knew she was going to die and she just abandoned us,” she says.

So why didn’t they flee France when they had the chance? Denise says she doesn’t know. One theory is that having already fled Russia as a teenager, her mother didn’t have the stomach to start again. Another is that they felt protected by those around them. Irãne by then was a celebrated and famous novelist in France. The only step she took to try to save herself and her two girls was to convert to Catholicism. This did help the girls; a Catholic lady who had worked for Denise’s grandmother looked after them once their parents had been taken away.

After the war Denise and Elizabeth went to their grandmother’s apartment in Paris. “If you’re orphans, go to the orphanage,” she shouted through the closed door. Years later the girls called their grandmother pretending to be journalists. “She told Elizabeth she had never heard of Irãne Némirovsky,” says Denise. “The fact is my mother and her mother had a very bad relationship, and in almost all of my mother’s books there is a portrayal of a terrible mother figure.”

From the walls of her one-bedroom flat, a photograph of her mother looks down at her daughter, smiling a gentle and mysterious smile, almost Mona-Lisa like. The walls are lined with bookshelves carrying mainly works by Némirovsky, translated into everything from Swedish to Chinese. But there are also books by Oscar Wilde, Primo Levi and Tolstoy.

Now that she is internationally famous, Denise is invited to every major event in Toulouse, such as Bastille Day, but she never goes. “How long will it take them to understand that I will never go to anything involving French flags flying and men in uniform?”

Not a day goes by when she doesn’t think about the moment her mother was taken away. In fact she can hardly talk about her mother without tears welling up in her eyes. Another great sadness is that her sister Elizabeth died in 1996, before the success of Suite Française. She and her sister had a difficult relationship to begin with.

“Elizabeth pulled down a concrete wall on her past and wouldn’t talk about it. I felt guilty because I had memories of a happy childhood and she had none. In the end it wasn’t until she started to write about our mother that we talked about it all and became true sisters.”

Publishers have been begging Denise to write her own story, but she says all she wants to do now is to take a break and catch up with her reading. “I feel with Suite Française I have brought my mother back to life to a certain extent, but it has also been difficult because my own life and my memories of her have almost become public property. Now I want some time alone with them.”

As I leave I ask Denise where her name comes from. “I don’t know why my mother chose it, I really don’t like it,” she says. “There are so many beautiful Russian Jewish names. But she never called me Denise.”

“What did she call you?” I ask. Tears well up in her eyes. “If you don’t mind, I won’t tell you. I want to keep something between her and me.”

Where is everyone?

It was impossible to predict how I would feel once back home, having left my three children behind in England.
It has only been two days but so far I feel rather flat. Their rooms of course are a constant reminder of them, and I am going to have to transform them into something other than ‘practically empty children’s rooms’. A yoga room for example, and a library. Maybe a movie room? Or a dressing room?
Funnily enough it is a little bit like being chucked. Every time I am reminded of the fact that they’re not here, I feel a twinge somewhere in my chest. I only feel better if I am doing something vaguely related to them, such as ordering tuck or planning flights to see them.
A friend told me that when you send your children to boarding school, you’re only ever as happy as your most miserable child. By that token I should be ecstatic. Leo told me last night school was “brilliant”. Granted he has only had two days, but it’s a good start. The girls are now into their second week and the only complaint is about the lack of food. “You know they only feed you THREE times a day?” Olivia told me the other night in a state of shock. Bea just sent me a voice message on BBM telling me how good my cooking is before adding “is there anyone out there who could send me some tuck?”
Next week I head back for their first exeat, I can’t wait to see them, I wonder if they will seem very different. Their lives have been totally transformed. Instead of sitting in their rooms at the weekend on Facebook the girls are now playing rounders, participating in flamenco evenings, going to plays and looking for food.
Leo is already in the cricket team, reason enough for him to leave his school here was that he wasn’t selected. He will be spending this term playing matches all over the home counties in his smart new whites. Here he is with his cricket ball he day before we left for school.
However sad I am not to have them here, I am very happy they are there, if that makes sense.

Copyright: Helena Frith Powell 2013

A tale of Mrs T

I once met Mrs Thatcher at the British embassy in Paris. The year was 1989 and I was staying with my friend Iona, the daughter of the then ambassador. He is a lovely man called Sir Ewen Fergusson, who was and remains my idea of a perfect ambassador, tall and elegant with excellent taste in everything, who once played rugby for Scotland.
We were in what was known in the embassy as the family sitting room one evening when she knocked on the door. Iona’s mother barely looked up from her embroidery as Mrs T asked for permission to join us, as the room was so much cosier, she told us, than than the state rooms she had been allocated. Her private secretary was with her.
“I have a first edition of Dickens’s A Tale of Two Cities,” she told us. “I wanted to write a dedication to Mitterand, but don’t want to devalue the book.”
The ambassador smiled. “Prime Minister, I hardly think you would be devaluing the book by writing in it.”
Mrs Thatcher (as she was then) shook off her shoes and curled up on the sofa. I remember thinking “this old lady is in charge of everything” and being slightly amazed at how much she reminded me of my granny.
“Right, well then, what should I write?” She looked around the room. “You!” she said, pointing at me. “You’re studying English, what should I say?”
I stuttered something about ‘on this auspicious occasion of the bicentenary of the French Revolution’. I also remember thinking that it as a pretty classic book to be giving a French president but didn’t feel I should mention that.
“Good, good,” she said. “Now I need my pen.” She turned to her secretary. “Where’s my pen?”
“Prime Minister, I think it’s upstairs.”
“Right, well go and get it please.”
The secretary walked towards the door. Bear in mind please that ‘upstairs’ at the embassy was a walk about a mile long. When she got to the door the secretary turned to Mrs Thatcher.
“While I’m up there, Prime Minister, is there anything else you need?”
“I don’t think so,” replied Mrs T. “And if there is, we’ll just send you up again.”
I thought she was formidable, just fascinating and would have loved to stay chatting all evening. Iona, however, was used to state visits wanted to go clubbing, so we did.
But the most memorable thing about the week was without doubt Mrs T curled up on the sofa. May she rest in peace and I hope all the left-wing lunatics calm down soon, they really are beyond dull. Plus ca change as we would have said at the embassy….

Copyright: Helena Frith Powell 2013

The case of the barking parrot

One of the things I hate about France is barking dogs. It seems that wherever you go, even somewhere as isolated as Sainte Cecile, you will hear some poor dog yapping in the distance. If you live in a village, you will probably hear a cacophony of dogs, desperate to be untied, fed, walked or whatever it is they are barking about.
Rupert hates barking dogs even more than I do and has always said that one of the great things about living in the Middle East is the lack of them. The Arabs have a strange relationship with dogs. Mostly they don’t seem to like them, so they are a rarity.
Then a few weeks ago, the unthinkable happened. We were lying in bed one weekend and we heard a sound that catapulted is all the way back to the south of France. Yap, yap yap, yap, yap, yap yap yap.
“I don’t believe it,” said Rupes, leaping out of bed. “Where the hell is that coming from?”
We couldn’t quite work it out, but on and on the dog barked, not all day, but a few hours a day, enough to be irritating. Rupes kept shaking his head and cursing.
A few days ago we went for a walk behind our compound and there was the yapping, louder and clearer. We walked into a courtyard and sure enough, a lovely little collie was tied up, jumping around trying to release itself, barking like crazy.
We stood around for a few minutes and the dog seemed to calm down a little. Eventually an elegant man dressed in a dishdash walked out of the house. He greeted us like long-lost friends. We rather sheepishly (ha ha) explained why we were there.
“Oh,” he said raising his arms up to the heavens. “That’s not the dog barking. It’s the parrot.”
“The parrot?”
‘Yes, indeed, follow me.”
He led us into his kitchen where a large green parrot was sitting on a perch in a cage.
“He copies everything you say and he copies the dog. It’s the parrot barking, not the dog.”
We looked at the parrot and the parrot looked at us. “Chelsea is the best team in the world,” I said in an effort to teach it something useful. No sound. Rupert poked his finger at it, which it tried to bite off.
“You must come to my new Majlis,” said our host, ushering us out. “And I’m sorry for the parrot.”
We walked home, reflecting on what a strange and wonderful place we have ended up in. And behind us in the distance was the unmistakeable sound of a parrot, barking.

Copyright: Helena Frith Powell 2013

Coma, what coma?

It all started with an email entitled ‘worried’ from my mother.
No one had heard anything from my father for two days. “He’s not answering the door, or the phone,” she wrote. “The lady who lives below him hasn’t heard anything at all. And he’s locked the door with the key from the inside, so the cleaning lady can’t get in either.”
My parents split up when I was two years old, and although when my mother moved back to Italy a few years ago some old romantics (including me) thought they might rekindle their relationship, they live three and a half hours apart by car. But whenever there is a crisis, my mother hot-foots it up there from her home close to Rome, ever loyal and always heroic.
I had spoken to my father a few days before the email, and he had asked me to get Quentin Tarantino’s email address. “I have an idea for a film for him, about Fellini,” he told me. Being a dutiful daughter I had found his agent’s email address and sent it to him, I had not heard back. This is not unusual, my father corresponds as and when he feels like it. In fact he does most things as and when he feels like it, including answering his doorbell.
The day after the email my mother called to tell me that my aunt and uncle were on their way to my father’s flat and that she would be joining them as soon as she could get there. “I fear the worst,” she said.
I spent some extremely sombre hours imagining that my father had fallen over and hit his head and was lying somewhere in the apartment suffering, dying or even dead. I kept thinking about all the things I still want to talk to him about, and how I had been planning to see him in April.
Eventually the news came through that the fire brigade had broken into the flat through a window. It is a first-floor apartment in the main square of Novafeltria, a small town in northern Italy, and the gathered crowd enjoyed the drama enormously. They had found my father in bed apparently in a coma. He was carted off to hospital where my mother arrived soon after and sent me a text. “Benedetto in fine form,” it read. “Call us.”
I was utterly amazed. How could he go from coma to fine form in a matter of hours?
“What happened?” I asked him when I called. “Are you all right?”
“Of course I’m all right,” he told me. “I’m not in a coma, it’s everyone else that’s in a coma.”
He then spoke to his granddaughter, Olivia. “I couldn’t understand a word he said,” she told me, handing the phone back. “But he’s talking, and that’s the main thing.”
I’ll second that. He is being discharged in a couple of days, to give them time to fix the window.

Copyright: Helena Frith Powell 2013

The business of selling books

A few days ago I sent my latest novel to my publisher. The last thing I write is the dedication and then off it goes, no longer just something sitting on my laptop, but going out into the world, almost with a life of its own, and you can only hope it survives.
But if it is going to survive, you need to help it. People think that once an author has written a book his or her work is done. I have found with every book that the really hard work starts once the writing is over, trying to sell it.
My publisher is very keen on marketing, mainly because he understands the importance of it. So any event, any article, any whiff of radio or TV is pounced on and I am ferried around to talk, smile, write, engage and try to get as many mentions of the book into a sentence as possible.
I have done a lot in my (and my publisher’s) quest for book sales, such as sitting in a lecture hall in Montpellier delivering what I thought was an extremely amusing speech to an audience of about 45 people. As I reeled off my jokes about French women there was a stony silence and fierce glares from the assembled, er, French women. The only noise was a raucous laugh from a lone Yorkshire woman sitting at the back.
I have been on radio countless times, and even reached the giddy heights of the Richard & Judy show, as well as breakfast TV. After the Breakfast TV appearance the book I was plugging went to number one on Amazon, only for about ten minutes, but I can still say I had an amazon bestseller. Not that I needed proof that publicity works.
My latest publicity effort is one I am looking forward to enormously. I have been invited to speak at the Emirates Airline Festival of Literature (www.emirateslitfest.com) from March 5th to 9th. For a few days I will be being extremely intellectual along with literary luminaries such as William Dalrymple, my lovely friend Ken Hom and Kate Mosse. My topics for discussion include overly cerebral ‘The Viva Mayr Diet- does it work’ and ‘Having it all’. If you are in Dubai then please pop along and listen, I can promise you more jokes than intellectual debate. I just hope that woman from Yorkshire pitches up.

Copyright: Helena Frith Powell 2013

The French role model (again)

Just after Christmas we went to a party at the home of a French family we are quite friendly with. Like us, they have three children aged between nine and 13. Unlike us, these children look and behave like they have leapt straight from the pages of a ‘how to bring up perfect children’ manual.
When we arrived, instead of cowering in the corner in their hoodies like any self-respecting English teenager the three of them stood in line to kiss us bonjour. They were dressed immaculately, in the kind of clothes that my girls would refuse to even try on if bribed, their hair was washed and nicely combed. They spent half the party handing food around to the guests and the other half performing a perfect recital. The little girl is already a Grade 4 pianist and she is only 11. My 13 year old is still struggling with Grade 1. Their son, aged nice, plays the flute perfectly and the oldest girl is a cellist.
I left the party deeply depressed. As if dealing with perfect French women isn’t enough, we now have to compete with their impeccable offspring too.
I remember when we lived in France being endlessly furious with our children who would run around restaurants like they were football pitches, while their French contemporaries sat at the table calmly eating their snails and probably discussing the benefits or otherwise of existentialism. There was one particularly bad occasion when Olivia was only about four and we were told by the neighbouring table that our daughter was clearly too young to be taken out to lunch. I think they felt the same way about her parents.
There is now a book out called something like ‘French children don’t throw food’ that purports to teach us all how to bring up perfect little people who will instinctively know how to tie a scarf and shrug in that Gallic manner. I do have it, but have not yet dared read it for fear that it is all too late. Maybe I was supposed to tie them to a chair with my scarf at an early age to get them used to sitting still?
Anyway they are all off to boarding school in a few weeks’ time, that marvellous British institution that will teach them, if nothing else, how to wield a lacrosse stick and not be a sneak.
Admirable qualities some other nations could do with a bit more of. Even if they can sit still at lunch.

Copyright: Helena Frith Powell 2013

Change is good…I hope

Change is good I keep telling myself, as I lie awake at 3am most mornings contemplating the magnitude of the plans we have.
In April Leo goes off to boarding school in Surrey. All being well, the girls will go too. Not to Woodcote where he is headed, although a boys’ school might suit them, but to one of the schools we visited last week.
We are due to hear from two of them any day now, and there are two more exams to sit for the others.
Once again I was surprised and pleased by how happy the girls were in England, they just seem to settle in straight away, despite the snow. Here is Bea on Clapham Common in, yes, a onesie, the latest hideous trend to hit the UK. She even wore hers to the Chelsea game, under her Chelsea dressing gown (nothing eccentric about Bea).
If they all go in April we will move to a smaller place when our lease is up here in March. First and foremost to save money to pay for all the school fees, but also because I don’t feel like rattling around this place gazing at their bedrooms and weeping because they’re not here. So we have that change to think about.
There is also massive change on the work front. I left the magazine I was working on at the end of December, and have some very exciting plans, but more on those when all is finalised.
I finished the latest book yesterday, 75,059 words. Am already thinking about the next one. And then there is the kitchen at Sainte Cecile….just to add to our outgoings we are putting in a new one, we hope in time for Easter when we will be there.
So quite enough to keep me awake at night, without the jet-lag. But as Winston Churchill said: “To improve is to change; to be perfect is to change often.” By the end of March I should be perfection personified….

Copyright: Helena Frith Powell 2013

In search of a school……

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a middle-class mother in possession of daughters must be in want of a school. Or at least an expat middle-class mother who is utterly horrified at the level of education on offer where she lives. Next week the girls and I set off from Abu Dhabi to England for interviews and exams at various public schools.
Having been turned down out of hand by the school their half sister went to on the basis of an exam they took (I even told said school they would fail it), I figured the only way to get them in is for them to actually meet the people who make the decisions and hope they spot the potential in them.
I also need to show them the benefits of an English school, because they are less than convinced that it is the right move for them. Let’s face it, why would they want to go anywhere. Here they start school early (7.30) but by 2.30 they are finished for the day, and they rarely have homework. So instead of doing prep or careering across a frozen lacrosse pitch they are in their rooms, on their laptops. Which might seem like a nice thing to do, but will of course eventually turn their brains to mush and they will be no use to anyone.
I am also aware that being a teenager in a place where drinking and relations with the opposite sex are illegal may not be ideal. I was brought up in Sweden where both are practically obligatory.
When I was about 15 I had a male friend to stay. In the morning, my mother came into my bedroom to ask if I’d like a cup of tea. The boy had by then left.
“No thanks,” I said.
She was about to shut the door, then poked her head around again. “Did you lose your virginity?” she asked, as casually as if she were asking what time I was going to get up.
“NO!” I yelled, utterly horrified. I was an extremely conservative teenager, and my virginity was not even up for discussion, least of all with my mother.
“Oh,” she said, shrugging her shoulders. “Why not?”
But the main reason I would like the girls to go to an English school is that I really don’t feel here they’re getting as much out of life here as they could be doing. They’re just not INTERESTED in anything. Nothing seems to have captured their imagination. Not art, nor drama, nor sport. OK so Bea is a fanatical Chelsea fan, which is commendable, but I would like it if they actually did something and excelled at it.
Of course some of that is down to them, but I also believe children need inspiring, and they need exciting role models to show them the way. I can tell them to read a book a thousand times, but coming from me, their natural instinct is to ignore it. The other day Rupert asked Bea what book she was reading. “Facebook,” she replied in all seriousness.
Time to move on girls…..

Copyright: Helena Frith Powell 2013